We often hear that happiness is a journey, not a destination.
Yeah, yeah. We know…and it’s true. But it’s not always easy to be patient along the way. Sometimes you just need a happiness cheat code. That’s where our habits come into play.
When we do the right things over and over—or when we stop doing the wrong things—it’s easier to find our happy place. Consider dropping these five habits to be happier instantly.
1. Negative Self Talk
When it comes to avoiding negativity, most of us know to avoid too much interaction with negative people. But what about the steady barrage of negativity coming from inside your own head?
Just like you would tell a loved one not to put up with constant insults and criticism in a bad relationship, you shouldn’t put up with them from yourself, either. Giving up the negative self talk will make it much easier to be happier.
2. Comparing Yourself to Others
Teddy Roosevelt knew what he was talking about when he called comparison “the thief of joy”. Measuring your value or success using someone else’s standards is a recipe for dissatisfaction and self-loathing.
Comparison is also a pointless exercise, since you can never truly know someone else’s situation. You can only ever know what they reveal to you.
If you insist on making comparisons, then focus on comparing your present self to your past self to gauge your progress. That’s the only comparison that can help you be happier.
3. Avoiding Things That Make You Uncomfortable
We’re conditioned to equate discomfort with pain, and pain with danger. So it’s no surprise that we come up with all kinds of creative ways to avoid discomfort in our lives. But not all discomfort is bad.
In fact, discomfort is a precursor to growth and change, and it often comes with the territory for things that are healthy for us (like annual checkups at the doctor or massaging a cramped muscle).
If you’ve made a habit of avoiding discomfort, you’re forfeiting some of life’s greatest pleasures, too. Lean into the discomfort more often, and you’ll actually find it easier to be happier more often.
4. Worrying About What Other People Think
Worrying about what other people think is an exercise in futility. Not only can you not control what other people think, but you can’t even know what other people think unless you’re literally a mind-reader. (Hint: you’re not.)
Whatever you tell yourself about what other people think isn’t real. So worrying about what you think other people think is a waste of creative energy.
Instead, refocus your energy on managing your own thoughts. That’s the key to creating real happiness for yourself.
5. Prioritizing Everyone Else’s Happiness Above Your Own
We talk about self-care a lot on this blog, in part because so many of us are so bad at it. That’s usually because somewhere along the way we learned that it was selfish to prioritize ourselves. Holding on to this false belief makes it really hard to be happy without also feeling guilty.
Having a self-care routine comes down to holding space for our own personal happiness and well-being with as much tenacity as we use for others.
Yes, it feels good to love on our loved ones, but we’re responsible for loving ourselves first. When you learn to do this consistently, you’ll find that loving others is even easier and more fulfilling.
We can’t expect to be happy 100% of the time in life, but we don’t have to hold on to thoughts and habits that perpetuate discontentment. Give yourself permission to let go of what isn’t working and to do more of what lets you operate in a better state of mind.
What bad habits can you let go of to be happier today? Tell us in the comments!
